Fresh Hell
by Tsa
Summary: Harry must say his goodbyes to the ones he loves, someone will miss him most...(Standalone)


A/N: The usual spiel of JK ownerage outta the way, I'd like to say that I don't care whom Hermione or anyone else takes up with or ends up with, whether it be Ron, Harry, Draco, or even Neville-I don't care. As well as Harry can be with Ginny or Cho-even Draco- whoever makes his heart break, I mean melt. So, just enjoy the angst of the scene please and don't worry about the finer, messed-up, complicated details of love, we all know it's a load anyways.

Hermione watched as Harry said his goodbyes to Albus. She could see their lips moving but didn't pay attention to what they said. To be honest, she didn't even care. She was trapped in her own world, her mind struggling. She couldn't believe it was here, the day all had been dreading. She sighed.

Voldemort's power continued to grow even as they stood there. It had taken the better part of sixth and seventh year for him to come back. As usual, they had the regular and by now the very familiar problems that came with each year at Hogwarts. At Graduation, while everyone was very excited and filled with the customary joy, a dark cloud had loomed over the ceremony. If Voldemort hadn't struck yet, it was only a matter of time. But, as any true villain, Voldemort bided his time. He seemed to get a wicked and warped pleasure out of watching them squirm and try to plan. And squirm they did. 

Now, three years after graduation, something had to be done; they needed to take the offensive while still on defense. That is why Harry was saying goodbye. He needed to go to whatever could be done to stop the evil that was growing. Although it seemed to be what Voldemort had in mind, there was no way around it. If he would not confront them and went on with his madness, than they need to take action against him. What other weapon did they have but Harry? Albus trained Harry as much as he could in the past 5 years. Hermione hadn't seen very much of him in past months. Seeing him five times in eleven months did seem to put a crimp in things. Although it had put quite a strain in their relationship, but what could she say? Hermione smiled humorlessly. Tell him to run away with her and forget his so-called destiny?

               She still remembered reading about him in _Hogwarts, A History_. She had read all about him, knew more about him than he did of himself when she met him. When she read that chapter all those years ago, uncharacteristically she hadn't done the math to realize that he would be in her year. All she could think about was this orphan who really had no home. How her life had changed when she had met him and Ron on the train; it seemed like so long ago. She smiled at the thought of Ron. Harry had said his goodbyes to the Weasleys before talking to Albus. Hermione was very thankful that Albus let her be the last Harry would talk to before leaving. True that Albus could tell Harry what he must remember, must forget, and must do, but Albus had said, "he must remember what he is doing this for and what he is going to be saving."

Her heart fell. She had put out the thought that he might not come back to her. Albus had said once upon a time that only one could defeat Voldemort. And that was, of course, Harry. It was Harry because he and Voldemort were linked. Albus had also said that one must die so that the other must live. But that didn't mean that both couldn't die. Hermione had thought once that when Albus had said that one must die so that the other could live, that Harry wasn't living now. But he had proved her wrong with the way he loved her. He wasn't going to face Voldemort so he could begin to live, but so he, and everyone else could continue living. _Everyone else_ Hermione thought. Harry was going to battle so that everyone else could live and love, not just him.

               For six years, Hermione and Harry had always been only friends. Harry had crushed on Cho, and Hermione had spent time with Viktor. Every one knew that Ron had a crush on Hermione, but over time it had faded, just like Ginny had once liked Harry, but she grew out of it. Ron now loved Parvati. It had taken him awhile to convince her to go out with him after the way he had treated her sister, Padma. But as soon as Padma forgave him, so did Parvati, and it was the best thing she ever did. Harry and Hermione still did not date until the end of their seventh year. For six year she had only been his friend and the same on his part. It had always been strictly plutonic. That is until the end of that sixth year.

                Hermione could still remember the fire that was in his eyes throughout that year; he still hadn't forgiven himself over Sirius death. His anger raged out of control, and grew when Pettigrew killed Remus. _O Irony, like a sharp blade to the gut _she painful reflected. Remus had been named after the founder of Rome that was later killed by his brother. _For years he thought of Peter that way-his brother _Hermione lamented.The pain Harry suffered turned her stomach. His anger had boiled over. At 16-almost 17 he would say- he tried to hunt down his enemy. Hermione tried to stop him, but would have had an easier time stopping a herd stampede. And so ended another twisted season at Hogwarts. Harry in the hospital, thankfully alive, while his friends, especially Hermione, held constant vigil at his side. 

Cringing and looking back, it now seemed easier than it was at the time, and even seemed easier than what she faced now; Hermione inwardly sighed. At the end of their sixth year, Harry set out to kill Voldemort on his own, very much like he did now. The difference being that back then he didn't know what he knew now, then he had less than one years training. Now he had instinct as well as skill that could well save his life. But back then he didn't care. Like anyone who has ever lost anyone, his pain overrode his senses; emotions tend to do that. Hermione had caught him leaving the Gryffindor common room that night. She had been coming back from a late study session with a pit stop to the bathroom. It was very unlike her to break the rules and be out so late Harry had said when surprised to see her. He had tried to cover his mission, but she saw through it. She said that she would go with him if he would not stay. Not in the mood to argue he walked off, hoping she would take the hint and not follow. Nevertheless, she did. All the way she tried to talk sense into him, but still sticking by his side. 

               Instead of them finding Voldemort, he found them. He had tried to 'Avada Kedavra' Hermione, her miraculously avoiding it by finding cover fast enough-everyone knew Cedric's tale. He then tried to curse the both of them. Even so, Harry's pent-up rage overcame the curse to control him. Hermione didn't however. She suffered while Harry fought with his adversary, Voldemort, multitasking and still controlling her from the back of his mind. But similar to that of previous years, things would end in a draw. After Voldemort had fled, Harry found Hermione abandoned on the ground, unconscious. He carried her all the way the back to the school where there he then collapsed. They were both taken to the hospital wing. Hermione awoke after some time to find Harry in the bed next to her. He woke to find Hermione standing over him and caring after him. It took him a few weeks to fully recuperate from his wounds.

               They then each left for the summer, only to think of each other. They had bonded during their experience. Neither knew how the other felt though. It had taken the better part of the next year for them to tell each other. They were both too shy to tell the other how they felt. However, the time came where it was more painful to hold it in then it would be to tell the other person how they felt. And so they started dating. Hermione stated that dating did not necessarily mean that they were a couple, but that changed after graduation. Harry was to continue his training, and she couldn't leave him.

Pulling herself out of her flashbacks, she looked up to see Harry in front of her. Blushing, she smiled and wondered how long he stood there to watch her daydream. Her smile faded as she looked into his eyes and lost herself. Her brows worried.

               "Mi," Harry simply said, touching her face. He ran his hand down her cheek and left it cupping her face. She reached up and held his face the same way.

               He always had had the most remarkable eyes. The glasses didn't do them justice. Of the few times he chose not to wear them, this being one, he looked amazing. Those remarkable emerald eyes glistened as they looked into her. Her heart begged her to ask him to stay or run away with her, anything to keep him from harm. But her brain told her that they could never have anything unless he did what he needed to.

               When they talked about him leaving, she asked him not to kiss her. She said she couldn't bear for it to be their last. It would be too painful to share such an intimate moment and then for him to leave. She told him she knew he would come home, and that then she would kiss him in welcome. As painful as it was to accept now, she knew it must be that way. Her tender heart throbbed and ached for him, but she simply could not tease herself with something that she could not have, something that was leaving. 

She would not cry in front of him, she told herself. She could not put anything more on his shoulders; his burden was large enough already. Smiling, he silently traced her face with his hands, his fingers gently brushing over her closed eyes and brows. He closed his eyes for long seconds. He opened them and gave her a small smile, looking her in the eyes and holding them for a second. Respecting her wishes, he then stepped back, and looked down the line of people to his left, all his closest friends and allies. He looked once more at her, meeting her eyes, backing up another step as he did so. He turned and walked away from his fellowship, a single bag slung over one shoulder. He didn't look back.

Hermione continued to watch him walk until she couldn't see him anymore. The others had left, some trying to get her to go with them, but eventually letting her be-they knew better. Now letting herself cry, a few tears streamed down her face. She knew that she had to face a world without Harry, possibly forever. She also knew she could be her own person and look after herself. But did she know how to live with out a part of her she'd grown accustomed to over the past ten years? Her mind reeled, _what fresh hell is this? _


End file.
